The last image I have – the only image that remains – is having become aware of imminent danger in the split second before someone behind me pulls a plastic bag over my head and around my neck. Continue reading “Catching my breath”
I’ve had 4 dream cycles tonight. I know this, not because I remember my dreams tonight — in fact, I only remember that I dreamed, their substance quickly draining away as they were swallowed up Continue reading “Not running away (but occasionally wanting to)”
You know that thing where you are stressed out at work and then you take your mind off it with an episode of Fargo and then, because you should really be paying attention to Continue reading “Good morning. Pass the coffee please.”
Small hours, restless, sleepless. Brief restfulness and then awaking, awash in anxiety, a mere hour later. Up then, and out of bed. Praying. Pacing. Worrying. Waiting. Distracting. Distressed.
More prayer, more.
Too many of my prayers are bound up in these worries, bound up in me. Continue reading “Small anxious hours”
I don’t have social anxiety disorder. I know this, because I looked it up.
I looked it up, because there are nights where the laying-in-bed-torturing-myself-about-the-interactions-of-the-day is almost enough to Continue reading “Self-absorption disorder”
I remember fondly a time when lunch was a simple enough affair.
I eat in the cafeteria more often than I go out, both for convenience and for budgetary reasons. It’s usually a 10-minute swing through the cafeteria line, debating what, if anything, I actually want and … usually not having found something I want, exactly… deciding what I will settle upon for my midday meal. Then I take my mildly to moderately satisfying lunch back to my desk to eat while I work. Or, you know, while I check my personal email or whatever. Continue reading “Lunch used to be simple”
As I may have mentioned, I recently signed up for a photography course. This is something I noodle on from time to time. I love taking pictures – I especially love taking really good pictures. But truth be told, it is only by grace that I ever actually do take good pictures (or anything else good, for that matter) because, in point of fact, I know nothing about photography. No. Thing. Continue reading “There’s homework”
I wonder if I have so little to say because of all the things I can’t say. Won’t let myself say. Know that I shouldn’t say. Or think. Or feel. Continue reading “And then I wonder”