Whatever happened to The Boy?

The day before I am scheduled to fly down, I reach out to the boy. Not a lot of advance warning, no pressure to fit me in. I know you might be busy or out of town, I just thought I’d see if you were around if you want to grab coffee or something. 

We aren’t in touch; texts at Christmas and his birthday. I think of him from time to time, but with simple warmth, good memories, prayers for good things. When someone (very occasionally) asks, I tell the whole truth. I don’t know, but last I’d heard he was living full time in Miami; I don’t know but I assume he’s met someone, maybe gotten married, maybe even has kids. But these are only guesses, we aren’t in touch for me to know. 

The morning I’m to leave, he responds. He can’t see me in Miami, because he lives, just newly, in Chicago. And more news, he’ll be a father in about a month. 

His happiness travels from his fingertips to my screen to me. My face hurts from the smile on it… he’s well, he’s happy, a wife, a baby… I think he’ll make a good dad. 

I am happy for him, and also selfishly happy for myself… I’ve thought I’d be happy for him, and I’m glad to find that I really am, and that the place in my heart where he still lives feels a warm and peaceful sense that all is exactly as it should be

And that is what became of the boy 


Goodbye for now

All the jumbled feelings of losing someone, even when it’s expected. She was younger than me, with teen kids and a husband and friends without number who will feel her absence sharply. She was sicker than sick at the end, having fought the evil that is cancer with all that she had. 

My memories are a mixed bag, full of all the complexities and challenges that come with such sharply different personalities, and also with all the warmth of familiarity that comes with having been in each others lives, though mostly at the periphery in our adult lives, for – well, forever from our small perspectives. All her life, all but a year of mine. Certainly as far back as we’d remember. 

Sometimes we found each other challenging, but there was still always love. 

I am sad, even more so for closer family and friends. Also I am relieved for her, and the end of pain and sickness. Touched to see how many she inspired in her battle. Thankful to know true perfect healing is hers now. Hopeful that we will see each other again, by grace, when we are both made perfect and are full and joyful in His presence. Happy for her, that she is there today. 

Have fun with Jesus, Lora. Say hi to Mommom and Poppop for me. Give Kelly a hug. Love you. 

And amid this, because there is not quite enough emotion in the day, my parents closed on their new home. It’s great and exciting and happy and feels so strange amid the other news. And even this happiness comes with just a hint of gray, that it means the days of having them here with me, sharing my place, are numbered. 

It’s a day of feelings. Quite the range of them, actually. 

exploring and revisiting, flotsam, today has a theme song

Invisible strings

This looks familiar,
Vaguely familiar…

I spent the weekend at a reunion – if you can call a first-time meeting a reunion. But in this world of online connections, these people who came together to bring and receive Christmas cheer have become something more. A mini-tribe, as it were. It’s hard to believe that 8 months ago, we were all strangers. Continue reading “Invisible strings”


Throwback… Tuesday? (kindred spirits)

Yeah, yeah. The meme is “Throwback Thursday.” And it’s only Tuesday. But sticking to the meme proper would be insufficiently flotsamy for my taste.

Plus, who can wait that long?

I posted this back in 2010, originally. So much has happened since then. So much has changed, and so much is the same. And something wonderfully exciting is brewing on my horizon, and this post helps put some context around an exciting new development for those who haven’t been here long enough to know why…
Continue reading “Throwback… Tuesday? (kindred spirits)”