flotsam

Commuter skies – a negative that’s positive

After 3 nonconsecutive hours of sleep, I wake up. Ahead of the small-hours alarm, but not so early that I could do my workout before rather than after work. Though that is what I told myself, as I tossed and turned – that if I was awake again (or still) with 45 minutes left pre-alarm, I would work out. Continue reading “Commuter skies – a negative that’s positive”

flotsam

Long dark drive

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you can tell why it’s called semi-random flotsam.

It’s very… flotsam-y. Just whatever floats out of my head to this screen…

And that, as you may have noticed, is often rather random.

There are long stretches where there’s nothin at all.

And then I’m back. Spewing my semi random flotsam.

Travel comes up often (which I love and am thankful to get to go). Fitness comes up at intervals. DuoLingo, cooking, work, peeves, faith.

And my commute. If you stick around, you’ll probably tire of hearing of the commute. Continue reading “Long dark drive”

flotsam

Adjustments

Time zones and daylight savings, then Thanksgiving and the official start to Christmas shopping season. Seasonal decor to render things festive.

Leaf raking and the introduction of a sharp back pain that is all new. Oh Lord, have mercy.

And then the return to my early hours commute. The early rise not as much of a shock as I expect, though the drive feels longer today (heated seats a blessing for my still-sore back).

But the rain won’t come for hours and the temps will be above freezing then, and a lack of ice and snow is a bonus and a boon.

Fluorescent lighting in the office is sharp and stinging – especially juxtaposed against the dark of the morning – but the office is quiet and calm in these early hours, and my eyes have time to adjust to the unfamiliar brightness.

Things to do, a blessing for me and a way to bless my clients – even those that irk.

It’s official: I’m back.

flotsam

Off night / off morning

It’s early, as it should be, but I fall asleep on the couch, even as I tell myself I’ll go to bed. Like a cartoon bubble still hanging over my head. But it’s only a short doze, just minutes, not enough to disrupt my night. 

When I do get in bed, I’m hot. Steaming from the inside out. I throw the covers aside, knowing I’ll want them again later, and fall asleep…

Shivering. It’s so cold. I’m covered, hunkered down in the comforter, but still I’m freezing. It penetrates my sleep; I’m damp. The hot flash didn’t wake me, and they usually do, but I must have had one – I’ve been sweating in my sleep, and now I’m cold. 

The clock says it’s not yet 3am. I make myself go back to sleep while I can. Sheets can get washed tomorrow. 

Up with the alarm, stiff and awkward on the stairs. One day I’ll tumble, I suppose, but mercifully not today. Showered, dried, dressed, packed. I pull on my shoes and head to the car. 

Halfway down I realize there is something wrong. I can see my shoes in the silver starlight. I should not see my shoes. I should see the dark silhouette of my work shoes on the stairs. 

I can see them because these are white. I have pulled on my sneakers. Sigh

I need my coffee sooner than usual en route, not surprising. It’s dark all the way to Delaware, not quite to the office. Daylight savings will do something about that, but it’s too early for me to math out what. 

Lord, I’m tired

flotsam

So begins a Monday

Sleepy on Sunday but restless and intermittently wakeful through the night, and genuinely confused by the alarm Monday morning. What is that sound, it’s my phone, why is my phone making sounds in the middle of the night, isn’t it the middle of the night, oh, wait, could that be my alarm really?

It was, of course. 

Forcing myself up against my screamingly tired body, start the coffee first, carefully down the stairs to go press the button that makes caffeine happen, thank You Lord for this day and all You have planned for it, thank You that You are sufficient to all my needs, thank You that You will be my rest if rest is what I need. 

Coffee begins to brew as I go up to prepare for the day, keeping to schedule, 5:20ish when I return to put coffee into travel cup, water and yogurt into lunch bag, jacket on, shoes on, out the door, Waze programmed and I am out and on the road before 5:30 as planned. 

Not raining today but my first impression is of gray skies. Not accurate, it’s just a solid and nondescript blue at first. Nuances and patches of clear sky will be apparent only as I start North. 

In the breaks when I can see beyond the tree line, I get glimpses of pink, thankful for the reminder to be thankful, and then sunlight streaming through clouds like a benediction, like a sunshower pouring into and dispelling darkness. 

Tunes on the radio to brighten, to waken, and then – if they make me maudlin – snapped off that I might not dwell on what does not serve.  What is it in a heart that wants to savor heartbreak, to long for what is lost to the past rather than appreciate what is good in the present, or the might have been over the currently is?

We fall short. 

Relatively smooth travels North, where the office and the work awaits. 

So begins a Monday.