There are moments when I feel so forgettable.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
When I wake up in a cold sweat or physically flinch at the sudden memory of some dumb thing I did or said (maybe being thoughtless, but maybe just because I was a kid / just too dumb/inexperienced to know better at the time) … at those moments there is absolutely a comfort in thinking that I’m forgettable.
Sometimes there’s relief in remembering that everyone is the center of their own story and so they are more likely laying awake tortured by their own stupidity vs. focused on mine.
There are other moments though, when feeling forgettable is less than stellar.
When I’m aching with missing the friends I don’t see, due to time or distance or just having lost touch.
When my heart recalls fondly the people I grew up with.
When the pessimistic whisper in the back of my mind tells me that I loved alone, and I alone remember what was.
It is lies, though.
Because every so often, someone you find yourself thinking about from the way back, makes contact. Drops you a line. Posts you a thought. Sends you a friend request, a DM, what have you … lets you know they’d been looking for you online. Lets you know they always wondered how you were.
And whatever other feeling you might have from that exchange, it is oddly comforting to know that the people we loved once and remember fondly still, some of them do the same for us.
May you know yourself to be lovable, and unforgettable… in all the best ways.
My dear friends, when I post these little semi-random thoughts— know I’m remembering you too. Because you’re unforgettable!