peeves, there is something wrong with me

Anyone know?

I’m pretty sure if I brought in a bunch of black rat snakes that would be successful, but in that case I would also need to burn the whole thing down and move away. I don’t do slithery. Not at all. Oh hell no.

I can know that’s the actual best approach short of the Lord just driving all vermin from here (and I’m praying that daily)… but phobia has its own logic.

So, no snakes please. None at all. Not even a picture. Nope.

But I need something that would hunt naturally out there and deter activity. A bobcat maybe. Bobcats do live in my state, just not so much in this area.

Or a fox. There are foxes around, not so much directly here but within a mile of here I’ve seen them, and that would be great. How do I get a fox to move in?

Heck, I’d rent a tiger for a few months if I thought that would work.

Anyone know where I can adopt a bobcat or rent a tiger for my backyard?