I’m sitting on the couch, lounging casually on a Saturday, when I can feel my hip hitch in that way it sometimes does, and then I get a cramp down my leg.
It’s kind of like the kind of leg cramp that will wake me in the night and can only be stopped, in those instances, by walking — it’s like in the night my calf sometimes cramps my foot into a Barbie-like tiptoe position, and it has to be forcibly pushed back to flat. Once I get the muscle back to position, the pain immediately subsides. If I’m lucky, it stays that was and I’m able to go back to bed and the muscle doesn’t immediately re-spasm and make me do it all over again.
It’s like that. But different… in that this pain is not in my calf shooting into my foot. It’s in my inner thigh shooting toward my knee.
And no position seems to relieve it. I don’t even know where to begin.
For a minute or two that feels like eternity there’s a rapid attempt at any position that may feel better: standing up, laying supine, kneeling, crawling, laying prone on the floor… and generally crying out for mercy because it hurts so much.
It eases in a few minutes that felt far longer. I can get up and walk around almost like a person.
What the heck was that?
I sit down and it immediately does it again.
Lord Jesus save me, help me, heal me. Oh please!?!
Update: It’s been 3 hours since it happened. It hasn’t happened again (so far). But my thigh still aches in the spot where it was a screaming agony earlier.
I hope it never ever happens again.
Update 2: Several days later it hasn’t happened again but my leg is tender there in certain positions, as if I pulled a muscle I didn’t even know I had.
From sitting… How flipping pathetic is that?!?
I’m monitoring it and doing the hot/cold thing and just generally trying to treat it gingerly to let it heal up as well as I can. But you know: house full of stairs. It is what it is.
Wow. As opposed to all the scammy robo-calls, I think maybe my body’s warranty has expired.
Hard pass on this new feature.
In happier news: happy birthday miss Grace!
🎂
aka gringita 
My unsolicited advice: get one of those green cloth “Stretch Out Straps” straps with sewn in loops from Amazon —it comes with a glossy poster illustrating lots of basic stretching exercises that, coupled with generous amounts of water daily, will do you wonders. Feel better!
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I swear, mystery aches and pains are part of growing older. I hope you don’t experience that again.
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