Note to self: Never say any of these things, even quietly amongst yourselves, because the universe has a dark sense of humor. And because it’s 2020.

Knocking wood will not necessarily offset the repercussions.
- Things are a little slow at the moment.
- It’s kind of nice that their projects are going so smoothly while (team member) is out.
- This seems straightforward.
- I should be able to turn this around by tomorrow.
- It has been a good day so far.