there is something wrong with me, ups and downs

In which I am my very worst self

I spent last week at a conference. I went last year too.

The content on the whole is great. They have amazing keynote addresses (which this year even managed to be on topic) and amazing tech presentations. The breakout sessions turned out not to be as relevant to our role but they set up a “garage” area that was more in our sphere and that was cool.

Don’t I sound positive, after the fact?

It was great… it’s great BIG. Estimates varied from 12-14000 attendees.

All in all the event is too big for me – I feel lost in conferences with several hundred attendees, let alone several thousand. And they had growing pains of their own, little nitty things that added up to not a great experience.

Things like asking the people who were in for Training the day before the conference to get there 1-2 hours before we needed to be there, and then not letting us into the training rooms on arrival because they were still being set up.

Things like simultaneously asking everyone to come in and register a day early to get better positions at the concert night, causing a huge rush during training registration and sessions.

Things like having that rush correspond with not just 1 registration line but also separate lines for swag and concert entry. The entire facility was just a sea of snaking lines, and that was just the prelude to the event itself.

Ostensibly the theme of the event was Breakthroughs but I would say the real theme was lines.

My second day (the first day of the event proper) didn’t go much better. The coffee reception didn’t exist because we all needed to queue up for keynote seating. (I didn’t grab the awful hotel coffee because I was headed over to the reception).

No. Coffee. For. Me.

That line:

  • Had us standing on a concrete slab for over an hour (my back and feet in agony before we were done.
  • Didn’t have any separators to keep people in queue, so later arrivers were able to swoop in and get ahead of people who’d been there longer, waiting.
  • Didn’t guarantee a place in the keynotes because they had either oversold the conference or not set up enough seating inside. I got in, barely, and ended up in one of the farthest back rows, with easily hundreds of people still behind me. Some of them ended up in an overflow room, watching the event via streaming video. They were not pleased.

After keynotes, the entire audience queues up for restrooms (lines) and lunch (lines), but due to unforeseen security issues, food couldn’t be delivered on time. So those lines were long. Not everyone got through them.

No. Lunch. For. Me.

And then afternoon sessions began.

My final session took me to the far end of the building, and with not enough time to get there, it was standing room only (again on the concrete slab).

And still no food or beverages to be had, with dinner not planned for another 3 hours.

So yeah, already I was sore tired hungry decaffeinated and just miserable. Inside and out.

The next day I woke up with the headache to end all headaches, complete with nausea. They had partially solved the coffee issue (there was 1 coffee station in the line, and when I joined the line that’s where we were, so lucky me) but they’d left the side doors locked, and although I saw some people had been let in that way, a bunch of us were left out in the rain to be poured on until we walked around to the front entrance. (I submitted feedback to this effect and they fixed it for later people so that’s good.)

I however was pretty much as b*tchy as can be by this point. Cumulative attitude fail.

Things did get better, really. They almost had to.

But as you might guess, I really didn’t enjoy myself at the conference … in all senses of that sentence. It was not enjoyable for me, and I was not enjoyable. I was not enjoying being me, and I’m sure no one enjoyed being around me.

Ugh. It is so very unpleasant to watch oneself become so unpleasant.

So I’ve said I won’t go again. But more importantly, I think I shouldn’t go. The extroverts on my team will enjoy the experience far more.

If they’d sell a slimmed down streaming-content version so I could attend remotely – and get great keynote and product content (I really do love the company and the product) without all the overwhelming portions – I would pitch for that.

And probably everyone who came in contact with the black-cloud, worst version of me would agree.

Final day keynote – line just beginning to form

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