flotsam, there is something wrong with me

Temporary insanity on the horizon

It must be going on Spring, because I’m thinking about dating.

Not enough to actually do it, mind you. (Those who know me can resume breathing: I’m OK really.) 

I remember the whole dating “thing” as it works for me pretty accurately after all, so I’m not terribly inclined to pursue it. I mean, I’ll probably crack at some point, and go on a date. Maybe a speed date – less pressure.

Dude, what’s with the pointed pointing?

But my feelings about dating are similar, in an odd way, to my feelings about certain foods.

Watermelon and hot dogs come to mind.

The thing is, I don’t like either of these foods, really. I spend all year, not liking them and not particularly troubled by not liking them. They don’t occupy mental space; when they do come up they are dismissed easily. Not worth troubling over. And then one fine summer day I will briefly but convincingly think I want a hot dog, or a piece of watermelon. If I’m lucky I’ll be at a cookout and someone will offer me a piece of watermelon: I’ll probably be over the novelty halfway through a single piece, and feel a little bad about wasting the other half but perfectly satisfied to walk away thereafter.

(And who hasn’t been on a first date that felt ‘over’ halfway through the evening?)

More likely though, I will be at that self-same cookout, and suddenly a hot dog will seem so appealing. Surprisingly enjoyable, after a whole year away. Yes! Why did I think I didn’t like this? I will enjoy that one lonely hot dog (not unlike a single, promising first date) a great deal, and if that would be the end of it, all would be well. But no, I will be momentarily fooled into thinking that my tastes have changed and this is something that could be a regular part of my life rather than something I can only tolerate in small and distant doses. Alas, not so. Sometime after I leave that cookout, I will buy a package of hot dogs… because they sell hot dogs in packs. So that in a few months I’ll just end up with the better part of a package of freezer-burned regret. A waste, really.

Sounds almost exactly like dating to me.

Except for the timing.  The last time I went on a speed date was 2010, so… actually, yeah. I’m almost due for a fresh bout of insanity. Almost.

I dunno. Maybe in another year.


4 thoughts on “Temporary insanity on the horizon”

  1. At last, I’ve found a kindred spirit who doesn’t like watermelon! And just like you, I will feel like trying it once every year to see if my tastes have changed. But so far…nope. Never.

    I say, go on a date, speed or slow-motion. It’ll make great blog fodder. And, as with those food items – maybe you’ll surprise yourself and want another bite.


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