It must be going on Spring, because I’m thinking about dating.
Not enough to actually do it, mind you. (Those who know me can resume breathing: I’m OK really.)
I remember the whole dating “thing” as it works for me pretty accurately after all, so I’m not terribly inclined to pursue it. I mean, I’ll probably crack at some point, and go on a date. Maybe a speed date – less pressure.
But my feelings about dating are similar, in an odd way, to my feelings about certain foods.
Watermelon and hot dogs come to mind.
The thing is, I don’t like either of these foods, really. I spend all year, not liking them and not particularly troubled by not liking them. They don’t occupy mental space; when they do come up they are dismissed easily. Not worth troubling over. And then one fine summer day I will briefly but convincingly think I want a hot dog, or a piece of watermelon. If I’m lucky I’ll be at a cookout and someone will offer me a piece of watermelon: I’ll probably be over the novelty halfway through a single piece, and feel a little bad about wasting the other half but perfectly satisfied to walk away thereafter.
(And who hasn’t been on a first date that felt ‘over’ halfway through the evening?)
More likely though, I will be at that self-same cookout, and suddenly a hot dog will seem so appealing. Surprisingly enjoyable, after a whole year away. Yes! Why did I think I didn’t like this? I will enjoy that one lonely hot dog (not unlike a single, promising first date) a great deal, and if that would be the end of it, all would be well. But no, I will be momentarily fooled into thinking that my tastes have changed and this is something that could be a regular part of my life rather than something I can only tolerate in small and distant doses. Alas, not so. Sometime after I leave that cookout, I will buy a package of hot dogs… because they sell hot dogs in packs. So that in a few months I’ll just end up with the better part of a package of freezer-burned regret. A waste, really.
Sounds almost exactly like dating to me.
Except for the timing. The last time I went on a speed date was 2010, so… actually, yeah. I’m almost due for a fresh bout of insanity. Almost.
I dunno. Maybe in another year.