In just a little while, I go in for a little nothing of a surgery. Actually it’s a little less-than-nothing of a surgery, nothing at all to trouble yourself about, and no need to worry because it will all be just fine. Unexpected and undesirable things are highly unlikely to happen.
I’m not writing this because I’m afraid something will “happen.” Most likely it will all go smoothly and everything will be fine and in just a few scant hours I’ll come home groggy and within a day I’ll be going about my life-as-usual and we need never speak of it again.
I’m not afraid even if something does “happen” because I believe with my whole heart that God is in control and that He is good even beyond my understanding (which, I suppose, is sometimes the rub), and that even in the unfathomably unlikely “worst case scenario” Jesus has secured my destiny and therefore The Next Thing is vastly better than anything I can even imagine. And I can imagine a lot of remarkably nice things.
No, I’m not worried. I am writing this simply because surgery aside, life is short, and some things should be said.
I am writing this because you have made a difference in my life that I don’t know how to express. I mean that literally. I believe we should say the things that matter so I keep looking at this page, and there is so much to say and yet none of it seems remotely adequate. I actually ache from it.
I could pour out a thousand words, a million words, and still it would not be enough to express everything that’s in my heart. I don’t even know where to begin. So I won’t do this justice. I’m trying, but I can’t. I’m sorry for that.
Still, I can say this much…
You have blessed me, and taught me, and changed me.
God has used you in my life in ways you couldn’t have imagined, and I hope you have had even the smallest inkling of how much you mean to me. I hope you know how your presence in my life has been one more testimony to His immeasurable goodness and mercy and love. If He has used me to bless you in even the smallest way in return, then it is more than I could ever have asked and just further proof of His infinite glory.
And in another couple of hours or so I am going to wake up from my surgery, just fine… and perhaps, when I remember, just a little embarrassed to have posted this… and yet at the same time glad I did, because it’s True, and probably long overdue that I mention it.
UPDATE: I’m now post-surgery, and doing just fine. No worries. How thankful I am for the blessings you are? Approaching infinity. ♥