flotsam, today has a theme song

Someone like you… more or less

What follows is even more flotsamy than usual.

Adele’s voice is just so phenomenal. Pure and perfect, and beautifully set off by the simplicity of piano accompaniment. It was the first song with nothing but piano and vocals to top the charts, or so I understand.

Someone Like You (Adele song)
Someone Like You (Adele song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s absolutely lovely, and even though by now it’s been played to death, I’ll still listen to it every time it comes on. Because of her voice. Because of the music. Because there are lines that are perfect poetry.

“Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?”

 Who indeed. That is the truth of any ending. And yes, “Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

But then there’s the other lines. They’re plenty “hook-y” and all, so I catch myself singing along and then flinching afterward.

Don’t forget me, I beg…” Wait, what? Who attaches the thought of begging to a song? Even if that sentiment rings true at the time, it’s not one you’ll want to continue to or retroactively attach to a heartbreak when it’s over. I don’t beg. And I’m probably embarassed over whatever-happened-to-break-my-heart, and am therefore really OK with you forgetting me.  Please: go right ahead and forget.

Maybe that’s just me?

“I’d hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.”

OK, we’ve established by this point in the song that he’s moved on. That she would like to be over it, but isn’t yet. OK, so far, so good; I think everyone has been there before. Fine. But let me just get this straight now. She’d like him to see that it isn’t over for her. To paraphrase, she’s still hung up on him and so she wanted (actually wanted… nay, hoped) to hold up her pain for him to admire.

OK, I will grant that I’m not particularly good at embracing vulnerability. But no. No no no. No. We do not put our anguish on a pedestal for display.

In the song, he’s married someone else. Nothing will change that – or not in any good way – and so she needs to keep her feelings under wraps.  I’m not saying just get over it, because that’s a process. I’m not saying don’t deal with it. I’m not saying that heartbreak doesn’t have meaning and an impact on us, because of course it does. I’m not even saying that she can’t talk to her girlfriends about it until they want to hold her down and stuff a sock in her mouth (though she might want to consider that a gentle warning that sometimes even one’s girlfriends think enough is enough).

But under no circumstances do you hold up your pain for HIM to see, because it profits nothing.

Unless. Unless you’re deluded (in a very honest, teenagery way) into thinking that your suffering is imbued with deep meaning to anyone other than you. If you think your continuing suffering says something about the Truth and Depth of your love for him, and your Loyalty to him, then maybe you do want to show it off.  (If anyone reading this is thinking that somehow letting him know about your suffering will in any way make him value you more, let me just help you here: I’m very sorry but it doesn’t work that way.)

Except, if that’s your belief, and you have assigned some kind of meaning to your continued longsuffering anguish, then you don’t – you can’t – immediately follow that line with “Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you.” That negates the whole thing… it just doesn’t follow.

But then, I guess the essence of being heartbroken is being conflicted.

So in that sense, I guess it does ring true, after all.

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